Unfortunately in this day and age divorce is becoming more common. Around fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce, and that stat has not changed in the past thirty years. Divorce results in hardships for both the adults and children involved. Common effects include denial, guilt, feelings of abandonment, and anger. Children with divorced parents are also more likely to get divorced in the future. Instead of seeing their parent’s work it out and stay together they see them break their promise of “till death do us part” and not understand the importance of that promise. If you and your significant other are going through hardships there are many ways to try and mend the relationship without choosing divorce as your first option.
Signs that you and your partner you should seek marriage counseling may include your communication becoming negative, and leaving one or both of you feeling depressed or insecure. If you or your partner have considered having an affair or have had an affair know that it is not impossible to recover from this. Both you and your partner must be willing to be committed to the therapy process and move forward positively with one another. If you both do not know how to resolve your differences and have given up on doing so having a mediator can be very beneficial for you both. There are countless reasons to seek marriage counseling, and it can also be smart to begin counseling even if you have yet to have any problems. Marriage is long, and requires hard work each and everyday, knowing how to work with one another positively will make you both that much stronger. Here are four ways marriage counseling can save your marriage:
1. Looking at your problems from a different perspective
Once you get into a routine with your partner of arguing, fighting, ignoring one another and so on, you begin to become stubborn and not put effort into fixing the problem. Instead of working through these problems you sweep them under the rug and hope for the best. Marriage counseling allows you to explain your problems from both your point of view and your significant others point of view and then your counselor gives their input. Hearing about your problems from a different perspective allows you to recognize and resolve these conflicts through tools your therapist gives you. This allows you and your partner to go about fixing your problems with someone else’s help rather than fighting over whose way is better.
2. Improve Communication
Over the years you and your partner may have begun neglecting working on your communication. A lot of times this leads to arguments as your opinions and comments may come across as negative to your partner. Communication must be worked on everyday and your therapist will have great tools you and your partner can use to improve this communication.
3. Remember what brought you two together
After being married to someone for many years you sometimes forget why you fell in love in the first place. Counseling is a great way to discuss what brought you both together and why you made the promise to one another to stay with each other forever. This is a great place to reminisce on the past and discuss with one another the importance of staying together and fall in love with each other again.
4. Wants and Needs
Marriage counseling allows both you and your partner to discuss your wants and needs that both of you may have never discussed in the first place. Knowing exactly what it is to make your partner happy will allow you to improve your relationship as well as communication for the future.
Related article: Understanding the 5 Languages of Love