If you haven’t been in the dating scene for some time and you suddenly find yourself single and forced to mingle, it can be daunting. A decade ago, if you wanted to get someone’s attention, you could walk up to them, call them or text them if you were being cute. Now, you can facebook message, snapchat, tweet, messenger, ping or poke them… and that’s before we get to the dating apps, which deserve their own dinner conversation.
There are countless apps, websites, and functions, that are designed to help you meet people. Although it can feel uncomfortable to put yourself in the dating scene, if you are interested in finding a partner to share your life with, it’s healthy to find a way to look around and see if anyone tickles your fancy.
And when you do find them… then what? How many days do you wait to call them? Do you call or text? Do you ask them how they’re doing or just say hi? If you find yourself asking these questions our four tips below might help you.
1. The Waiting Game
Ever had a friend tell you the day after a date to wait three days to contact them so ‘you don’t seem desperate?’ Take this advice and throw it out the window. If you had a great first date, tell them! Time is so valuable and if you like someone you should always express that, don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and let them know how you feel. If they think you are coming across desperate they probably aren’t right for you anyways.
2. Do Not Assume Exclusivity, Ask For And Negotiate It
You may start to really like someone you have been dating for a few months, especially if you’ve started to see them every week. Whether you do it or not, it is very common for people to multi-date. So at some point you will need to make sure that you are both just seeing each other and nobody else. Make sure to ask and to always communicate clearly if this is something that you want. Letting it eat away at you is not healthy, and you won’t find out until one of you asks.
3. Try Not To Text Important Emotional Thoughts
Yes it can be nerve racking to tell someone how you feel in person, but the best way to do so is face to face. You want to be able to see the reaction in the other person and take in all of the feelings and emotions together. It is very easy to misinterpret how someone is feeling through a text message, and you don’t want to come across a certain way when you were not trying to. So as hard as it is, try and have those important conversations face to face.
4. Don’t Rush
Try and enjoy all of the moments and new experiences you share with the new person you are dating. If it doesn’t take off quickly that could be a great thing. If its two or three days in between texts, try and enjoy those days as much as you do the ones where you are in touch with the person you are dating. It is hard to understand how you truly feel about someone if you rush into things with him or her sexually. You may be better off as friends for a while and just enjoy their company. Get to know them first, be able to understand their opinions and values and enjoy all of the new feelings you create with one another.
Dating can be stressful and nerve racking, irrespective of our advice you should what feels right for you. You know yourself better than anyone else ever will and you know what you want in a significant other. So trust that. If you don’t have a spark after the first date that’s okay, don’t try to push something that clearly is not going to work. Try to look at dating as getting to meet new and different people, learning something different about someone and maybe making a new friend. Don’t go into the dating scene with the goal of finding someone you are going to spend the rest of your life with. Let it be organic, and know it will take some time.
Have an open mind when meeting new people and most of all remember it is supposed to be fun!