Falling in Love With a Home

Clearly, it can be hard to remain objective when you’re contemplating what will no doubt be one of the biggest purchases of your life. Buying a home is exciting, nerve-wracking, and fraught with uncertainty, which is all the more reason why a bit of objective calculation is so important. Love at first sight can be a wonderful thing, but when it comes to buying a home, spontaneous relationships rarely last.

The trick is to figure out what your deal breakers are; i.e., what features and amenities you absolutely do not want. Maybe it’s multiple levels (too many stairs) or miniature bedrooms (limited closet space) or even too many trees (poor light, no view). They’re different for everybody, but ultimately, they’re simply the flip side of your needs and wants.

Or, to put it another way, if knowing what you need and want is key to buying the right house, then resisting love at first sight can save you from buying the wrong one.

Beware Buyer’s Remorse

We’ve all experienced it — that sinking feeling that we’ve made a horrible mistake, usually right after we’ve made a major purchase. What if I bought the wrong one? What if I paid too much? What if I absolutely hate it? Now factor in years of mortgage payments, utility bills, and property taxes, and it’s no wonder new homeowners are prime candidates for buyer’s remorse.

Relax. It’s natural and it passes quickly, provided you’ve done your homework. Before you even start looking, think about where you want to live, what kind of home you prefer (attached or single family, new or existing construction), and the compromises you’re willing to make (needs, wants, and deal breakers), and you’ll be fine.

Buyer's Tip: Buyer’s remorse is easily cured, but real regret can be a chronic condition. This is especially true when people buy a home for investment purposes first and livability second. They often discover that no amount of appreciation will make up for an unhappy home life.

Real Life Example

Who: Bob and Cynthia, a couple setting out to buy a home.

Considerations: They looked at the pros and cons of renovating their old house . This neighborhood vs. that neighborhood. The amenities they needed (three bedrooms, 1½ bathrooms, not older than 1903) vs. the ones they wanted (four bedrooms, two bathrooms, and new construction). Having narrowed their search substantially, they figured finding the right house would be a snap.

The house: Then they saw "the tower.” Four stories high and built into a hillside, it was a designer showcase with an entrance on the top floor, a formal dining room, and ranks of cantilevered decks.

The dilemma: With visions of breakfast on the balcony and dinner parties with a dozen guests, they seriously considered making an offer. That is, until they double-checked their Must Haves vs. No Way checklist and realized that the tower barely registered, even on the Nice to Have list. Worse yet, it didn’t get much light, and those four floors meant three flights of stairs between the bedroom and the laundry room. "We realized that it was the novelty that was intriguing,” says Cynthia. "We’d have been miserable.”

Upshot: They decided to pass on the tower and keep looking. A few weeks later, they bought a two-story home with three bedrooms, 1¾ bathrooms, and a garden-screened patio, built in 1956. They’ve been there for seven years and they love it.

Related links: Buyer Location Checklist; Where to move?; Avoiding Buyer's Regret